分栏一：湖南通道侗族恋爱习俗（一）

湖南通道侗族恋爱习俗

DatingCustomofDongPeopleinTongdao

CountyofHunanProvince

在湖南通道侗族自治县，侗族男女约会方式多种多样，恋爱习俗丰富多彩。最典型的包括：“火塘传情”、“爬窗探妹”、“聚堂谊”、“坐仓楼”、“走寨做客”、“玩山”、“种公地”、“换把凭”、“送饭包”。

In Tongdao County of Hunan Province, Dong men and women date in various special ways.Their custom of developing romance is rich and colorful. The typical custom includes“dating at dusk”, “conveying the romantic love around the fire pit”, “climbing windows to woogirls”, “gathering atshelterpavilions”, “getting together atthe community house”, “being guests to visit other Dongvillages”, “playing on hillsides”, “farming on common land”, “exchanging keepsakes”and “presenting glutinous rice rolls”.

壹

火塘传情

Conveying the Romantic Love around the Fire Pite

在侗寨，夜幕降临的时候，姑娘们便结伴于木楼上纺纱织布，后生也结伴从远处吹着侗笛或弹着琵琶缓缓而来。姑娘们闻到笛声或琵琶声后，故意把门掩上，后生们看到门是关的，又知道有姑娘在屋里，就会走近门边轻声唱歌，求姑娘开门，姑娘也用歌来对答，唱到动情处才开门。进屋后，若有老人坐在火塘[1]边，后生就给老人递烟、拉家常。之后，老人则借故离开睡去，让青年人痛痛快快地行歌坐夜，作母亲的还为他们准备油茶[2]夜宵。

In Dong villages, when the night falls, Dong lassieswould begin to spin thread, weavecloth, or do other knitting work in their wooden houses. At this time, Dong ladswould walk slowly to the houses from afar playing Dong flute or lute. Hearing the melody of the musical instruments, the lassies wouldshut the door quietly on purpose.Seeingthe doorbeing closed,which indicates thelassies’ presence in the room, the lads wouldapproach the doorsinginglovesongs to plead the lassiesinside to open the door.The lassies would not open the door until they are impressed by the lads’ songs. After entering the house, the ladsusually offercigarettes to the elderly people inside and chat with them for a while. Then, the elders wouldleave the room on excuse to let the young peopleenjoy being together singing antiphonal songs to their hearts’content. The lassies’ mother would usuallymakeYoucha for them as a night snack.

[1]火塘

The Fire Pit—

photo from

http://image.网址未加载/

在房内土地上挖成的1米见方的小坑，四周垒上砖石。以前，火塘里立有三块石头，以备烧火煮饭取暖之用。后都改用铁三脚架，燃料为木柴。主火塘里终年烟火缭绕，白天煮饭，晚上烤火取暖。火塘是侗族人生活中非常重要的一部分，他们每年都要进行火塘祭祀，祈求家人安泰。

Fire Pit is a one-meter-square soil pit surrounded by a wall of bricks. In the past, people piledthree large stones in the pit to make wood fire for cooking or heating. Later, the stones were replaced by an iron tripod for convenience. Smoke would blow all the year around from the main fire pit of a family where its owners cook food or warm themselves. For Dongpeople, fire pit is a very important place intheir life.They get together around the fire pit to communicate with each other, or worship their ancestors to pray for the safety and health of their family members.

[2]油茶

Youcha—

photo from

http://image.网址未加载/

侗族饮食中一道颇具特色的茶饮。油茶待客是侗族的重要礼俗。制作油茶的原料主要包括茶叶、大米花、酥黄豆、炒花生、猪下水、葱花等。

Youcha, a kind of Dong tea, is a deliciousthick soup in Dong diet. Dong people usually offer Youcha as a special treatment to welcome their guests. The ingredients of Youcha include green tea, puffed rice, crisp soybeans, fried peanuts, pig offal, and green onions etc.

贰

爬窗探妹

Climbing Windows to Woo Girls

在马龙、团头、地马、古仁、外寨、老寨、寨脚、播阳、地阳坪等侗族村寨，男女青年有一种古老独特的恋爱方式——爬窗探妹。这种恋爱方式，当地称作“星子绕月”，星子代表男性，月亮代表女性。

AtDong villages like Malong, Tuantou and Diyangpingin Tongdao County, the lads and lassies perform a distinctively ancient way of courtship—climbing windows to woo lassies at night. This way of falling in love is locally known as “stars circling around the moon” in which the stars are compared to the lads, while the moonto the lassies.

夜深人静之时，在姑娘们的吊脚楼[3]下，便会传来阵阵清脆的琵琶、牛腿琴[4]或侗笛声，这是小伙子们到来的信息，姑娘们在格窗房里稍稍偷看，是哪些腊汉，有没有自己的情人，有时也故意把小窗打开，表示在等待着。这时，腊汉唱道：

In the stillness of the night, there might suddenly come the sweet music of lute, cow leg harp and flutefrom the downstairs ofthestiltedbuildings where lassies stay, which suggeststhe arrival ofthe young admirers. Hearing the inviting music, the lassies in the boudoir would peep through the grid windows to see whether their beloved ones are among the group, or they would intentionally open a very small part of thewindow to show their willingness of the dating.Then,the lads downstairs would sing love songs to express theiradoration for the lassies. They would sing like:

今晚月亮圆又圆，

我们来到妹窗前。

若是阿妹在闺房，

开窗隔门把话连。

Tonight’s moon is round and bright,

I am waiting at your windows, my honey.

If you are in the boudoir,

Open the windows and reply to me.

如果姑娘不接应，腊汉就会接着唱：

郎在窗外弹腿琴，

妹在房中细心听；

莫让时光空流逝，

我俩隔窗不隔心。

If the lassiesdon’tmake any response, the ladswould keep singingtill they get reply from the lassies:

I am playing harp outside the window,

You are listening to me attentively inside.

Don’t let time go in vain,

Our hearts should not be separated by the window.

这时，姑娘就会唱歌邀请腊汉爬窗聊情。腊汉爬到窗前风趣地唱道：

妹在窗里我外边，

隔窗难见妹的面。

变只猫儿窗前跳，

不知妹妹恋不恋。

If the lassiesfinally singbackto invite their ladsto sing face-to face bythe window, the ladswould climb up tothe window and stand on the ladder singingsongs together with the lassies inside humorouslyand joyfully. At this time, the lads would sing like:

You stand inside the room and me outside,

I can’t see your face hindered by the window.

If I were a cat jumping around your window,

Would you like to furtherour relationship?

也有的腊汉不动声色，架起木梯爬上窗边，一边轻歌蜜语挑逗，一边轻轻敲窗，敲响姑娘的心弦，开窗对话。腊汉与姑娘隔窗相对，切切私语，倾吐衷情。时而歌声幽幽，时而情语绵绵。

In addition, there are some other ladswooing girlsdifferently. They would climb up to the windows quietlyby a wooden ladder, and try all means to please the girlsinside by sweet words and songs. Knocking gently at the window, they hope to tugthe girls’ heartstring for anintimate conversation. Hard work eventually wins the heart of their beloved girls. The lads, standing on the ladder, finally get the chance to exchange their mutual affectionsin romantic wordsor sweet lovesongswith the lassiesby the window.

在爬窗探妹中，腊汉在窗外无论站多久，天气有多冷，都不准进屋。姑娘也不得翻出窗外，且不得大声对歌、谈情说爱。爬窗探妹一般进行好几个时辰，有的直到天亮。分别时，双方依依不舍，姑娘会用委婉的歌声相送，并约定下次相会的时间。腊汉们则唱道：

During the dating of “climbing windows to woo girls”, the lads are not allowed to enter the lassies’ room no matter how long theythemselves have waited outside or how badthe weather is. What’s worse,the lassies may neither get out of the room, nor make any response. Thehot datingusually takes several hours and sometimes it doesn’t end until the dawnof the next day. Upon parting, neitherlassies nor lads arewilling to part with each other. To express their reluctance, the lassies would say goodbye by singing songs in a roundabout way tosuggest clinchinganother date next time. For example, the lads would sing:

走呀，伴！

我们人散心不散。

妹是云中明月亮，

时隐时现心更甜。

今夜相约莫外传，

他日再述妹窗前。

Bye, honey.

Our hearts are together although we are parted.

You are the bright moon in the clouds,

The neareryou approachme, the happier I become.

Keep secret about tonight’s date,

I will climbto your window for more sweet chats another day.

在开始的爬窗探妹，与姑娘谈情说爱时，少不了三五个腊汉结伴而行。若是哪个腊汉看中了姑娘，以后他就独自前往。如果姑娘也有意，就会避开家人，拿布匹扭成绳，拉腊汉上到窗前，谈情说爱。当爱情发展到一定程度时，姑娘就会偷偷地把自己绣的花带作为定情物，送给心上人。花带[5]是用各色纱线和丝线混绣而成，宽二三厘米，长两米多。花带上绣的花鸟图案，千姿百态，栩栩如生，逗人喜爱，是姑娘赠送情人的信物。腊汉则送玉环、银镯、雕梳或戒指之类的信物给姑娘。

In the beginning, lads wouldwoo three to four girlsafter their own heart. As long as a lad finds the right one, hewouldkeepgoing afterherwholeheartedly alone. If the lassiehas the same fancy for the lad, she wouldshun her family members topull the lad up to the window with a rope twisted by cloth for an intimate talk. As their loverelationshipdeepens, the girl wouldsecretly giveherMr. Right a hand-made flower belt as a token of love. The flower belt is usually exquisitely cross-stitched with colorful yarn and silk thread, two to three centimeters wide and two meters long. The flowers and birds on the belt are vivid, pretty, and varied. Flower belt is usually atoken of love which a Dong girl oftengivesto her beloved Mr. Right. In return, the lad would give the girl in love gifts like a jade bracelet, a carved comb or a silver ring.

[3]吊脚楼

StiltedBuildings—

photo from http://image.网址未加载/

[4]牛腿琴

Cow Leg Harp—

photo from http://p.网址未加载

侗族弓拉弦鸣乐器，主要用于侗族民歌和侗戏伴奏。因琴体细长形似牛大腿而得名。

Cow Leg Harp is a stringed instrument played by the Dong people to accompany Dong folksongs or plays. It gains its name due to its similarity with a cow leg in shape.

[5]花带

Flower Belt—

photo from https://image.baidu.com

叁

聚堂谊[6]

Gathering at ShelterPavilions

通道境内的芙蓉、金殿一带有着特殊的恋爱方式。吃过晚饭后，青年男女便三五成群地到寨外的凉亭聚会。各姓有其固定的地点，按当地人的话叫“堂谊”，是青年人专门活动、谈情说爱的场所。这一带的习俗不兴到姑娘家里坐夜唱歌，更不允许在家里谈情说爱。为了让年轻人有交流情感的机会，特意修建“堂谊”相聚。

Gathering at shelter pavilions to have a date is very popular among young Dong people in the Dong villages like Furong, JindianofTongdao County. After supper, lassies and ladswould love to get together at the local shelterpavilions. Generally speaking, each Dong villagehas its own fixed shelter pavilionfor their young people’s gathering anddating. Customarily, it is forbidden to have dates or sing songs at lassies’ house, so Dong people built those shelter pavilionsto provide theiryoungpeople with more opportunitiesforcommunication and relationship development.

[6]堂谊

ShelterPavilion—

photo from http://image.网址未加载/

肆

坐仓楼[7]

Getting Together atCommunityHouses

坐仓楼是青年男女谈情说爱的又一种方式。主要流行于本地侗的马头、地会、蛇口、地连、下乡等地。坐仓楼大都在农闲期间进行。“仓楼”又称“公房”，大都由寨子集体建造，也有由寨子里的姑娘集资建造的。他们用六根杉木搭成架子，上面盖杉树皮，周围用木板围好，成为十几至二十几平方米的“仓楼”。中间建有火塘，周围摆上矮凳或石板。

Getting together at community houses isa very impressive and unique way for young Dong people to develop their romance. It is mainly prevalentin the Dong villages like Matou, Dihui and Shekouof Tongdao County, whichusually takes place during the slackfarm season. “Community house” is a shabby building collectively built by the local village or funded by the women’s families inthe village.In general, the construction of the community house includes threesteps:first, makinga shelf with six sticks of cedar wood; second, coveringthe shelf with cedar bark; third, enclosingits surroundings with wooden boards. Thecommunity house is usually ten to twenty square meters large. In the middle of the house, there existsa fire pit with benches or slates placed around it.

坐仓楼一般是以一二个年龄较大的姑娘为主，约集几个姑娘，在“仓楼”点燃火塘。火塘上煮着油茶，烤着糍粑，等待外寨男青年的到来。相约来的男青年也往往有一二个为主，其他是陪客。他们按照男左女右的坐法，围坐火塘两边。姑娘们请青年喝油茶、吃糍粑，谈笑风生。吃喝一阵后，就互相对歌， 往往是姑娘们先发问，考男青年是否聪明、智慧。歌唱得好、对答如流的则为姑娘们所喜爱。姑娘们往往把手镯或绣花手帕送给自己的意中人，男青年也给姑娘回赠，这就叫“定情把凭”，表示今后可以继续交往。一个姑娘可以在不同的时间，相约不同的青年来“坐仓楼”。一个男青年也可以在不同时间与不同的姑娘“坐仓楼”。出嫁后的姑娘，在“不落夫家”的三五年期间内还可以来“坐仓楼”，社会舆论不会干涉，家里人也支持这种活动。

Generally speaking, those who organize the gathering atthe community house are one or two elder girlsreadyto getmarried in the village. They usually invite several other girlsof the villageto help make fire in the fire pit inthe community house. As the fire burns, they make Youcha or bakesticky rice cakesover the fire to welcome the young menfrom the neighboring villages. Among the visitors, only one or two are the leading roles while the rest are just in companionship. The younggirlsand young mensit together around the fire pit, in general, the former on the left and the latter on the right. At the beginning, the girls offer the young visitorsYoucha and sticky rice cakes. After the joyful welcoming snackingand drinking, both sides begin to sing antiphonalsongs. Meanwhile the girls may asktheyoung menseveral questions when they sing to test whether theyare clever and smart enough. Usually, those who sing well and respond quick-wittedly and fluently are much more attracted to thegirls. If both of the young girl and young man are falling in love with each other and willing to further their relationship, the girl would give such a gift as a bracelet oranembroidered handkerchief to heradorableoneas “a token of love”. In reciprocation, the young manalso givesa giftto his beloved one. The Donggirls enjoy the same freedom as the young Dong men to datewith different young Dong men at the community house. It is customarily accepted that even those married Dong women could join the gathering atthe community house during their first three to five years of marriage when they still livewith their maternal parents.

[7]仓楼

Community House —

photo by Lin Liangbin

伍

走寨作客

BeingGueststo VisitOtherDong Villages

这种恋爱方式主要流行于通道的西北部侗族地区。青年男女经常结伴到异地他乡走访亲友，下寨做客。男青年来访，女青年来陪伴唱歌，女青年来访，则男青年来陪伴唱歌，一唱就是几天几夜。白天和上半夜设歌场[8]斗歌斗智，全村男女老少都来听，到了深更半夜，老少听众退场，青年男女则留下单独谈情说爱对唱情歌。黎明时分则唱紧结歌。作客期间，男女双方都可请情人到自己家里吃饭，通过这样的往来，男女双方互相了解对方的家庭情况，双方的父母也借机考察未来媳妇（女婿）的状况。

Being guests to visitother Dong villages is a very popular convention among Dong peoplein northwest areas of Tongdao County. The young men and women may travel together to other Dong villages to visit relatives and friends as guests. Customarily, when the young menvisit, the young women in that visited local village takecareof the gatheringreceptionand vice versa. During the gathering, both guests and hostswould dance and singsongs together. Sometimes, the gathering couldeven last for several days and nights. A special stageis often set for the competition of singing and wisdom among the young group.Duringthe daytime and before the midnight, people in the village regardless of age and gender would come to the competition stageto watch the performances. When the midnight falls, the old and the kids would go home. The young men and women remainthere to develop courtship via antiphonal singing of love songs. When the dawncomes the next day, theyhave to part with each other with a reunion song. During the visiting, both the young menand young womencould invite theirsweetheartsto family dinners. Through such contacts, theyget to know more about each other’s family. The parents may also take the opportunityto observe and get to know more about their future daughter-in-law or son-in-law.

[8]歌场

Competition Stage—

photo from Hunan Daily

资料来源：侗族习俗对外译介研究课题组

微信编辑：田紫怡

责任编辑：张梦芝

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